My Montreal Trip in Strongly Worded Letters

Some of these are based on letters that I littered our hotel room with upon departure from our weekend stay in Montreal. And some of them I writing now.

Warning: May contain course language and mindless ranting. 
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Dear Megabus,

Where is your WIFI? Bad things happened because we didn't have your WIFI.

Also, 6:30AM? Really? The subways had barely started running by the time we left!

Sincerely
Unhappy Passenger
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Dear Rabeea

Brossards is not in Montreal. It is very far from Montreal. Like, we-can't-take-the-bus-there far. Like $30-cab-fare far.

You are not allowed to book hotel rooms ANYMORE.

Sincerely
Your Friend
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Dear Econo Lodge Downtown Montreal

Brossards, although in the middle of nowhere, was better in many ways. The beds, not to mention the room, were bigger. The room came with a microwave and a coffee maker. The view was better and the atmosphere was better. All this for a cheaper price.

And although we are paying more for less, your front desk was not helpful or welcoming.

Sincerely
Your angry guests

Also, your furnishings were stupid.
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Dear Montreal

Why are you so cold?

Other than that, don't ever change.

Sincerely
A Torontonian
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Dear Econo Lodge

You continental breakfast sucks. What is continental about it? You didn't even have eggs. Or fruit. Or meat. Or plates. Or cutlery. Not real ones anyways

In sum, your breakfast sucks and you should buy our waffles.

Sincerely
Not impressed
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Dear Waffle Place

You were awesome.

Marry me.

Sincerely
In love with waffles
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Dear ice

Ouch. Fuck you.

We conquered your frictionless surface.

So. Fuck you.


Sincerely
My knee hurts
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Dear Hookah Lounge

You were the ONLY place to card us in Montreal. What's the deal? Also, do not be so blatant about asking for tip. If we give you tip, do not judge how much tip we give you. I overtipped you twice. So screw you.

We stole your menu so take that.

Sincerely
It was otherwise a good experience
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Dear Econo Lodge... AGAIN

Fuck you. You locked us out at 2AM. You said it was "a joke." Not a good fucking joke. You just need to fix your fucking lock. You know from all the money you're saving NOT giving us coffee or a microwave.

AND you leave out Pizza Pizza ads that don't have a time limit on them. And then we can't eat pizza. Who says we can't order pizza to our room at 2AM. We're fucking hungry.

Sincerely
Your angry and slightly drunk guests.
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Dear Sleep

I missed you last night. I'm sorry we had to go at 5:45AM again. And sorry we got into the hotel at 2AM. And sorry we fucked around until 5AM...

I'm sorry for taking you for granted

Love
Tired as fuck.

MOUSTACHE MONDAYS!!

Alright guys, so since you got a little taste of annoyed Becca, I thought I'd post something a little calmer.

I'm am here now to introduce you to a little something we like to call Moustache Mondays!

As we get into a bit of a groove with these theme days they may change up a bit. At this point, Moustache Mondays is going to be us talking about moustaches or things involving moustaches. As we get going, there may be pictures or tutorials, things to that affect.

I hope you're all having a fantastic Monday!

P.S. I realize I've added a 'u' into the word 'moustache.' From here on out it is to be pronounced "Moose-tash," got it? Good.

Pet Peeves: The Many Annoyances of Becca

WARNING: If you are offended by swearing, I'm really sorry, but you need to turn back now. 

Pet Peeve #1:

Loud/messy/gross eating. Who the fuck wants to hear you chewing and swallowing like a cow. Nobody. You can eat soup without inhaling it, and I don't need to watch your food as it is being chewed. That's disgusting. You don't need to talk with your mouth packed with food (even though I do that) and if you do it, at least cover it up with your hand or a napkin or something so that I don't have to look at it. I have had food spit on me and drinks sprayed at me, and just about everything you can name... I hate it. Can't stand it. We went out for Pho one time. That was torture.A whole restaurant full of people slurping their Vietnamese noodles? Never again.Keep your food in your mouth and stop making so much god damn noise.

 Pet Peeve #2:

 I know it's been done a million times, but those bitches that stand in the middle of the halls at school or on the stairs. Keep moving!Or move to the side, or something. What is the point of just standing in the middle of the fucking road? Don't do it, because I may look weak and shit but I will run you right the fuck over.

Pet Peeve #3:

 When people want to be included and they stand there not saying anything and not making eye contact and not participating or giving any indication whatsoever that they are alive. If you want to be included in my conversation then you need to be alive.Look me in the eyes once in a while, or at least in my direction. Don't just stand there waiting for me to talk to you, because chances are I have tried and you have not bothered to reciprocate because you assume I'm not talking to you (here's a hint, look at me and you'll know). And then if you want to make it worse, don't just walk away trying to pretend you're all hurt because I didn't talk to you.No, that shit just doesn't fly with me.You either make an effort or walk away without trying to make me feel guilty. Or do try to make me feel guilty, i don't care, it's not going to work. It just pisses me off more.

Pet Peeve #4:

 People who don't take care of their pets.Something will be wrong with their pet and they're standing there like "What should I do? Should I call the vet? Should I wait? What is even going on?"And I'm sitting there like "Dude, call the vet. By the time you actually drag your ass out of there and call the vet, your dog is probably going to be dead." I have seen so many animals that are injured or sick or that lose puppies because their owners are too fucking stupid to bring in their pet. If it's about money then you need to maybe not get a pet in the first place.Would you sit around wondering if you should call a doctor if your kid was puking up blood or had eaten a fucking towel or something? I don't think so!! Treat your animals the same way.

Pet Peeve #5: 

 People who have like 500 million fucking thousand pictures of themselves on Facebook.I know I post probably like a lot of pictures of me on Tumblr and shit, but I'm not standing there like "Omg this is such a bad picture of me lolololol" just trying to get some attention. Back the fuck off bitch, because I will tell you straight up, you are ugly as a motherfucker. Don't come crying to me when nobody likes your picture because you're a whore that is posing in your bathroom with hardly any clothes on. Oh, and that's another thing, when people change their dp and then post a status like "Look at my new dp, like and comment plzzzzz xoxooxxo." 

 no.

 just no.

 get out.

 Thus ends the rant for today.

Getting Old is For Losers

I don't know about you, but I could never imagine myself getting older. I didn't mind imagining myself getting into my 20s but that's right about where it always stopped for me. I always thought, "Screw you guys, I'm not getting old."

I mean, who ever wants to get old. If you do, you're weird. I mean what good comes of getting old. Hell, I barely want to get into my 20s now. Let's just stop at 19. Look at the pros and cons:

Pros

• You're still technically a teen, so you can definitely use that to your advantage. Feeling moody and angsty? "I can't help it, I'm a teenager!" You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself and whine a lot. 
• You can drink, but you're at that age where people expect you to be irresponsible. So if you get so hammered you end up vomiting for three hours straight, they'll just say "Well what did you expect?" and if you drink responsibly, 'cause you know you're limit, you get praised. HOORAY! (This does not work if you live in the US. Sucks to be you guys)
• No one expects you to be finished school. Thus you don't have to graduate and you don't have to get a real job. 
• In general, if you act responsible, you'll get praised. Like, "Oh wow, look at her, paying bills and living on her own. She's just so mature!"
• No wrinkles or sagging. 
• C'mon, who here would not love their 19 years old metabolism? You can eat frickin' everything and it doesn't affect you. Not to mention you actually have energy to do shit. Most of the time.
• You're at that age (at least for girls) where you be sexy and foine. All the time. 
• If you get a tattoo, you don't have to worry about how it'll affect you when you're older. 'Cause you'll never get older. 

Cons

• Everyone would still treat you like a kid. 
• For the girls: All the guys who'd be into you are gonna be extremely immature and annoying. For the boys: girls your age love an older man. 
• You're stuck in school. Forever. Cause 1) no one would believe you got your Masters when you were 19 2) if you're not in school, everyone assumes you're a lowlife cause you couldn't get in or you dropped out.
• If you don't want to pay bills and everything... You'd have to live with your parents. Forever. *shudders* 

Okay, looking on it now, maybe it wouldn't be so cool. But still, the pros outweigh the cons. It's totally a good idea.

Besides, if we can find a way to keep us perpetually one age, then maybe we can use the technology to keep cats as kittens and to keep tigers as cubs so they can stay cute and not able to bite your face off FOREVER!

C'mon, admit it. You think it's awesome.

If you were gonna stay one age, what age would it be? EXPLAIN FOR FULL MARKS! ... Just kidding.

NOTE: Starting Monday we will be starting "theme days".   I'll keep the themes as a surprise for now, but if you have suggestions for new ones, or you're not digging the ones we start unveiling then tell us in the comments. Down there v

DO IT!

People Watching

Alright, I think it's time we get something out in the open here. Everybody likes to know everybody else's business. Don't even try to deny it, because I know it's true. Think about it. Let's take the most obvious example of all; Facebook. Listen to this scenario and think about whether you have done it: You are sitting in front of your computer and your news feed is super boring. It's one of those weird times in the afternoon or when you're awake before anyone else your age, and there is nothing to do. You see someone has changed their profile picture, but you can't get a good sense of what it is from the thumbnail so you click to see the full-sized picture. Next thing you know, half an hour has passed and you've seen all of this person's pictures, you've read all their wall posts, and you've read all of their personal information. You better have answered, "Yes, I have done that!" because I know you have. If you answered no, you are a liar and I don't like you anymore.

So back to my point. We like to know other peoples' business. It's basic human nature at this point. But you can't just "creep" people on Facebook all day. You have to be able to carry these skills, if you will, out into the real world. And where is the best place to do that? A mall. Or at a diner with a conveniently located window through which you can see the street and all the people walking down aforementioned street.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Why would I just watch people walk down the street?" Good question, friends. The number one reason is plain and simple: entertainment. As in  most of our posts so far, I am going to give you a list of suggestions. Ready? Here we go:

1. Amusing nicknames. There is endless entertainment to be had from naming people based on their appearances or their idiosyncrasies. Don't get me wrong, this can easily turn into something extremely mean, where you start picking on people. That is not what this is. Do not do that. Don't be that guy. 
2. Playing the game 1, 2, 3. This is a very simple but amusing game in which you determine who you are going to marry based on passersby. You and a friend sit together, and based on whichever gender you prefer, your friend will count of first one person, and then the next, and finally the third. You get to decide who you want to end up with. But here's the catch; You don't get to know them all before you make your decision. If you deny number 1, your friend must identify number 2. If you reject number 2 as well, you must go with number 3, NO MATTER WHAT. Choose wisely, friends. 
3. Seeing the weird things that people do when they think nobody is looking. Caution: this may be highly disturbing, feel free to look away at any point... if you can. If you find yourself unable to look away, well then I'm sorry. I hope you don't see anything to scarring. 

Alright, so maybe there isn't that much to do while you people watch. But it's something we all do, and if you don't do it, well, now is the time to start. Never again will you be bored as you look out the window of a diner or sit in the mall food court. 

The Things You Can Find When You're Looking For Them

Have you ever watched a TV show where the protagonist and his best friend have a moment and you're just like, "They want each other in the pants"? Or am I just weird?

I have a few friends who can whip these out in pretty much any kind of medium. Books, movies, TV shows. They would be Queens of slash fiction (yes, for some reason it's always girls who can do this). I manage to do it with females, but every now and then you just see two guys look at each other and you know the look. It's a look that says, "My pants would like to meet your bedroom floor."

The only way I can do this talent justice, is by showing an example. .

1960's Batman 

 I bet Batman wants to slide on Dick's pole.   

Okay that was an easy one. Everyone knows there was a lot of chemistry between Batman and Robin. Bruce was definitely tappin' that.

Othello

A friend of mine was reading Othello for class. When I asked who Iago was this is what she told me, "Iago is supposed to be the antagonist, but I think he's just got a lot of repressed sexual desires for Othello." I think that's pretty a good reason to become a villain-type character.

Those Two Guy Friends You Have That Hang Out A Little Too Much 

I don't know about you, but there always seem to be that pair. They are never without each other. They always seem to be messaging each other. You just know there's something going on between them. And you're just not sure how you feel about it. But you know you just want to take their hands and say, "Just tell each other how you feel. It's all right. I know."


Yes. You can find homosexual tendencies anywhere. TV shows, comics, movies, books, plays and even real life.

Procrastination

I think I'm pretty much an expert at this subject by now. For example, this post was supposed to be up yesterday and I went out with friends instead.

But what really makes a great procrastinator? Let's look at some qualities here:
1. Putting things off until the last possible second, and even then sometimes not doing stuff.
2. Making excuses as to why you can put things off so long.
3. Resorting to any measure possible in order to put things off.

But these things do not make a truly great procrastinator. Oh no, there's more.

For example, you can't just say you're going to put something off. You have to commit to it. You have to find anything you could do to put it off, and do that instead. Here is a list of things you may want to consider next time you are procrastinating:
- Tumblr. I love Tumblr. I probably spend more time on Tumblr than on any other thing I do. Tumblr knows how you feel at all times.
- Showering. I personally can take a good 45 minute shower every single day of my life. It puts off whatever you are trying to avoid and you smell good afterward. Win win.
- Eating. There is always something to eat, whether it's a good idea to consume it or not, it will take up time, guaranteed. And who knows, maybe you'll get food poisoning or something else cool that'll make sure you're not able to do anything productive for a while.
- Playing games. You get yourself going on some Paxcon or some Tetris and you're basically out for the night.
- Netflix. 'Nuff said.
- Sleeping. There are so many people I know that will stay up and lose out on sleep just to work on a project or to finish writing a paper or whatever it is that they feel obligated to do. Why? Why would you do that to yourself? Just go to bed.

But I cant tell you what to do while you're avoiding your life. You need to find your own thing too. So now that you've wasted time not doing whatever it is that you're supposed to do by reading this, go find your own way to procrastinate. I know you have it in you.

Are YOU Socially Awkward?

So if you go on the internet, which is exactly what you're doing now, so don't even try to lie to me... I know you use the internet. Lying at this point would just be mean because there would be no way for you to read this without the internet.

Anyways, yes, my point, if you go on the internet you'll notice there's a large portion of people of posts things who identify as socially awkward. You might ask yourself: What does it mean to be socially awkward? Am I socially awkward?

Answer: Probably. I mean, you're reading a blog on the internet about being socially awkward...

However, if you're not completely sure, here are some questions that will pretty much tell you:

1. Do you have lots of friends? If you have lots of friends, you're pretty safe. I mean, how could you make a lot of friends if you weren't social? Think about it... 
2. Do you shout at inanimate objects? Yeah. Apparently that's not normal. Who knew?
3. Do your conversations consist of frequent literary, television and movie references? eg. "I need a Turk to my JD. That would be the best."
4. Do you often fantasize about weird and highly unlikely situations? I'm not talking about meeting a movie star and banging them, unlikely. I'm talking about: And then a bear would burst into the room and maul my enemies but I would give it some honey and we'd be best friends and he'd let me ride on his back, and we'd go off. Into the sunset. That kinda unlikely. 
5. Do you have trouble meeting/approaching people? Starting conversations? Or do you just run away when you can't think of things to say?
6. Is flailing, making weird sounds and weird faces part of your daily life? You can't really be surprised if you do these things and get considered socially awkward. Seriously. 
7. Are you currently trying to figure out if I should've used "Are" in my previous question? I know I am. Seriously. Which is it? NEITHER SOUND RIGHT.
8. Do you get needlessly angry over small things?
   
9. Bad jokes. Do you like them?
10. Do you sometimes wonder if you may have ADD, ADHD or OCD? Cause the people who sometimes claim they have these (when chances are they don't) tend to be a little socially awkward. 

And if you're wondering. Yes. I did answer yes to all of the above. Except for 1. That I had to answer no.

Well there you have it. Your guide to finding out if you're socially awkward. If you found that, yes, you are socially awkward, do not fear. Because us socially awkward kids are taking over the internet. We will win.

Win what?

EVERYTHING.