Fun Food Friday: The Wonders of Bulk Barn

Today is, as you know, Fun Food Friday! Today, I am going to talk about one of the most amazing places to get food. I'm pretty sure it's just Canadian, so for all you non-Canadian readers out there, I'm very sorry that you have to miss out on the wonder that is Bulk Barn.

I'm sure there are other versions of this in other countries so I guess maybe you're not missing out after all. I sure hope not because it is actually amazing.

You walk in and at the front they have their seasonal candy (right now it's all Mini Eggs and jelly beans and Easter candy), and then once you've worked your way through there, you get to the aisles. Then you have your baking supplies (ignore them), and you have nuts (keep on walking) and you have juice and stuff (almost there) and finally you arrive at candy. This is where you've been headed all along, you just walk up and down the other aisles quickly to make it look like you're browsing and - oh! Look you just happened to stumble upon candy! Or you can just make a beeline for the candy. That's usually what I do.

The hard part is deciding what you want. I almost always get the Lego blocks. It's candy and it's a toy... what more could you want? But there are so many options. Always make sure you have a game plan when you go in there though, otherwise you're going to be coming out of there with like 16 bags of candy and a very empty wallet. Sure, it'll seem like a good idea at the time, but later you'll probably feel really sick and gross, and you might regret it. Trust me, I know this from experience.

And although I've never personally done it, I'm sure it is a good place for when you need to get baking supplies or if you have a desperate need for lots and lots of nuts. They have stuff like cookies too, which is cool. Oh, and cereal. We all know how much I love cereal.

What do you guys think? Sounds magical, huh? I'm just glad the nearest one to me is half an hour away, or I would be way more broke than I already am.

Not a very nice night.

You know what is the worst. You're in deep sleep, probably having the best fucking dream you may ever have. You haven't been asleep for long yet. And then suddenly, your bladder turns against you. You have never had to pee so bad in your life. You can't even contemplate holding it in for any longer.

So you stumble to the bathroom, bumping into walls, doors and railings on your way there. It has never been such a journey before. But things are different. You have never needed sleep as much as you did now.

Anyways, we'll skip all the bathroom stuff, cause really, we all know what happens and nobody really likes reading about it. So anyways, still bleary eyed and a little blind, you stumble back to your bedroom. You lie back in bed and you close your eyes, ready for sweet sweet slumber to take you over.

But something happens. Actually, not quite. What really happens is: nothing. You aren't falling asleep. You roll over and see if getting more comfortable helps. You lie that way awhile before trying a different position. Your teddy bear (not that I sleep with one, pshh) gets shifted from in your arms, to under your head, to the other side of the bed and back into your arms again.

You lie there for hours. Time passes slowly and you check the time compulsively. You sigh and your growl and you beat your head with your hands hoping a small concussion will put you out. But nothing works. So then you get mad, and the more mad you get, the more awake you get, and the more awake you get the more mad you get. Until you enivitably give up. You are not getting back to sleep.

And this is why I am up at 7:30 in the morning writing a blog. Because 4AM is a terrible time to have to pee. And the two hours sleep I got before that is the reason that this post is a little weird and kinda terrible.

Time to get ready for school now...

Weird Word Wednesday!!

Flawed.

Just say it.

"Flod"

How weird is that? Right?? I mean, your vowel sounds go all long and you can't even help it.

Point #1:
The word "odd" is right there in the pronunciation of the word. I mean, I shouldn't even have to make any more arguments as to why this qualifies for a Weird Word Wednesday post.

Point #2:
If the sound of the word isn't enough to get you thinking about this word, there's the meaning. Imperfect. Less than adequate. Unacceptable. Nobody wants anything about who they are or what they've done to be described as "flawed" do they?

Point #3:
Say the word really slowly, and I mean REALLY slowly. Really take a second to try out each letter in the word as you say it. First you get the scrape of your teeth against your lips with the F. Next you have to press your tongue against the roof of your mouth for the L. For the AWE your face goes all fish-lipped and if you're still doing it now I'm sure you look ridiculous. Finally is the D, where you have to reign in your fish lips and bounce your tongue off the roof of your mouth really quickly.

I'm sure I've just ruined pronunciation and enunciation for you forever, but really. What is with this word? The letters take over your whole mouth, leaving you with this sense that you didn't even say a real word. How bizarre is that?

If you guys have any suggestions about weird words that you'd like us to talk about leave some comments below!!

Attention span? What's that?

Okay, so in the first post of this blog (which you can find here) we mentioned a few of the wonderous ways that proved you were socially awkward. One of these ways was wondering if you have ADD, ADHD or OCD.

Acronyms are pretty key to social awkwardness. See: LOL.

Now as most of you know, ADD stands for attention defecit disorder, ADHD stands for Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder and OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Now I don't know much about any of these disorders, so that puts me in the perfect position to self-diagnose. Especially when I have Google at hand and a most probable case of being a hypochondriac (it sounds much cooler than it actually is). So I can pretty much be sure that my diagnosis will be entirely accurate.

I have reason to believe I must have ADD or ADHD. I can not focus on anything for too long. In the amount of time it has taken me to write this much, I have checked Tumblr several times. The only reason I am really writing this is I'm have a case of I-Can't-Get-The-Fuck-To-Sleeps and there's really not much else to do at 3AM.

My attention span is to the point where I can't read long blocks of texts anymore. Even if I want to. I can't keep a conversation going for very long. I tend to change topics. Those who know me well, know I digress a lot. It makes for interesting conversations. I also zone out if I have to listen to anyone for any amount of time without being really interactive with them. Ie Lectures. Even when I like my lectures, I realize part way through my professor's voice has become that of adults from Charlie Brown.

Bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah

I thought this would be more interesting and hilarious.

So what happens when you have an attention span like mine? Really awkward conversations. There tends to be a lot of,

"So did you do something about it?"
"Yes. That is exactly what I just said, 45 seconds ago."
"Oh. Sorry, I tuned out about halfway through what you were saying."
"Wow. Nice. Well anyways, as I was saying--- Are you listening?"
"What? Yeah. Yeah, of course."

I'm really not, it's just really impolite to say no and walk away to whatever was distracting me from the corner of my eye.

I also get a lot of conversations like this:

Me: So I was really pissed off and I said to him-- Oh there's a squirrel over there it's so cute!
Friend: You said that to him?
Me: To who?

It can be a little frustrating at times.

So for those of you that actually have a medically diagnosed case of ADD or ADHD, what do you think my diagnosis is? Do I have it, or am I just dumb?

Moustache Envy

It seems to be an ever increasing trend for lady-folk to want facial hair, or at least for them to be envious of the ability that most men have to grow it. I say most because lets face it, most white guys in their teens can't grow more than a greasy teen 'stache. Sorry guys, it's just the truth. But back to the point. Why are girls so obsessed with this lately?

For me it's because you can do such amazing things with it. I mean, have you seen some of those pictures of men with sculpted beards?? I mean just look at this guy:

He's like "I don't care about what you have to say, I have an epic fucking beard right here"

Fantastic. Just top notch.

As Mariah talked about in other Moustache Monday posts, you can make your own facial hair of of just about anything. When we were at school we made so many moustaches out of tape, and even paper towel rolls as you can see here...

But really it's just not the same. You can shape a moustache out of tape if you really have no other choice but in the end I will never feel quite like I have a beard or a moustache. I will always have moustache envy.

What do you guys think? Ladies, do you wish you could grow facial hair of your own? Guys, what are your thoughts on facial hair? Do you want more or is it just plain annoying? Tell me things!

We all do it... Don't lie

Yes, there's a deep dark secret we all share. Something we fear other people knowing or finding out. But I think it's time we break free of these earthly bonds... Time to let it all out. Yes. I'm talking about...

Our secret desire for bad TV.

We all have at least one show that we know is awful and terrible, but we still secretly sneak into the family room to watch it when no one is looking.

For some it's reality television, for others it's MTV originals. For some it is children's shows. By this I'm referring to the new stuff that is on nowadays, not the awesome stuff that bombarded our young impressionable minds in our formative years. That stuff I am never ashamed of.

I don't know what it is, but there is an entertainment factor in the awful. Is that not the same reason that we watch really bad movies? We sit there and we laugh at them and point out plot holes and bad character development, but in the end, we're still watching them. We're still giving it the acknowledgment of its existence.

This is nothing to be ashamed of. What is important is that we don't pay them any money. They can have their ratings, but do not buy into the franchise. We should really raise our standards, so maybe eventually we'll just bury our guilty pleasures by not allowing them to exist too long.

Do not buy Jersey Shore spray tan (cause I'm sure that exists somewhere). Do not get Hannah Montana socks! Even if you get to step on her face whenever you wear them. Just do not buy into the franchise. 

But do not let this happen to good shows. Make sure they stay on until they've worn out their welcome.

But most of all, get your friends together and watch it together. What is better than sitting with friends with a bowl of popcorn and belting out whole hearted mockery at a dumb character who really would not survive in high school because, seriously, who wouldn't beat up that kid?

An Ode to Music

For those of you who know me, you know that music is such a huge part of my life. You know how when I talk about it in depth I usually end up saying a lot of unfinished sentences. i.e. "It's just so... It makes me feel so... I just... ughhh" etc. Music is probably my greatest love of all, and yes, I get stupidly romantic about it. I cannot express the depth of what music makes me feel, and I end up with lots of unfinished sentences and lots of looks from people as they try to figure out why I'm talking about music like some people talk about their significant other. Ever heard that song that goes "Music is my boyfriend"?

Here is why I think music is so important. It is so fundamental to human nature. I mean, think about it. Even if you aren't listening to a song there are so many ways that music relates to what is happening. For example, your heart beat. It is (hopefully) a constant rhythm that you don't even think about unless you've just completed some sort of strenuous activity and it's pounding like crazy. But it's this omnipresent source of rhythm and something completely steady. There is music in the way peoples' voices blend together when you're in a crowded place, and whether it shows up in melodies and harmonies, or dissonance, it's there.

And then there's actual music. It is so personal for every person. There are so many different styles and feelings. Music evokes emotions, it can set a mood, or change the mood you are in at the time. It can help you release your anger or your sadness, it can help you celebrate when you're excited, and it definitely can help motivate you when you're working out (I'm assuming this, I wouldn't actually know...) or when you need to clean. Music can energize you or calm you, comfort you or take you to a different place completely. All of this from a few notes strung together. Isn't that amazing? I could go on and on, but I think that gives you an idea.

Finally, there's playing music yourself. I myself don't play that many instruments, I've only really played 3 with any sort of commitment. I took piano for 10 years, and flute for 4. I've just started cello this year, and I played clarinet for about a month last year just for fun. Each of these instruments has a different effect on me. Piano I always resented because of the way I had to learn, and having to practice. I haven't actually played in a while because of that very reason. Flute I don't always like admitting to because it is seen as a very girly instrument and that's not me. It also has the potential to be very high pitched and squeaky which is not too pleasing to the ear, let me tell you. But I actually love the flute. It can be so pretty at times, especially in the lower register. Clarinet was fun, but it was a lot different than flute. I didn't really commit to clarinet, but if I had the chance to play it again, I would. And then there's cello. I find cello to be an absolutely beautiful instrument. It has such a deep timbre, and everything about playing it is so intimate. There is something very human about the cello, and as new and different as it is to me, I have fallen in love with it completely. I feel so much playing music. I get completely lost in it, and there is nothing that compares to it. You have the power to create something or at least recreate something, putting yourself into it completely. There is so much freedom and beauty in playing music. Again, very difficult for me to explain it in a way that does it justice. Unless you actually play music, you don't know what it's like.

This has been a very different blog post from those previous, and I hope I didn't freak you out too much with all of this. But I honestly do believe that music is one of the most important parts of life, and I hope you do too. I'm sure I will revisit this topic a few times in the future, so if you connected with any of this, there will be more! And now comes the audience participation section! What instruments do you guys play? What kind of music do you listen to? Should I stop talking about how music makes me feel and just get some cats or something? Leave me comments to read please! Mariah is gone and I need something to keep me occupied until she gets back!!

Fun Food Friday!: Hippo Hugs

Okay so I was in the grocery store with my mother one day and we're walking down the cookie aisle and this is what I see:

 

Holy shit. Brownies that are like hugs from hippos? Who wouldn't want that? Now to understand my excitement over this (although, you have to admit, look at them, they look and sound delicious don't they?) you have to understand something about me: I love hippos. I think hippos are amazing. Are they my favourite animal? No. I don't pick favourites. I'm not my mother (Hint: the favourite isn't me... lol jk it totally is xD) 

Anyways, I am a huge fan of hippos. I even gave one of my best friends (we share the hippo thing, after a very interesting story in which he was featured involving man-eating, alien, giant hippos attacking earth was told on the phone) not one, but two origami hippos. On separate occasions of course. Also, someone has to give me points for my amazing run on sentence above. 

So seeing these were amazing. However we did not pick them out. Now fast forward a week or two. Or three. (What's time? I don't even know) I'm unpacking groceries my mother bought, which included snacks I could pack for school (yes, I pack a lunch for university. I'm cheap). And I saw them. I was astounded. I was amazed. I was excited.  

Here's what the brownie looks like (they are individually wrapped too!):

 

Okay, yes, it does sort of resemble a turd. Don't ruin my life. Anyways, I'm blaming the lighting on that one. They actually look like how they are on the box (for once!). And they are delicious. You know, for store bought individially packaged brownies. Whatever I'll still eat 'em.

That's me making a beard with my brownie. I look a little stoned. And orange. Stupid light. I'm brown. Naturally. Anyways, that was the last one in the whole house. I have no more. :(

Dear Readers

I think it is time we had a little chat.

Mariah and I can see how many people look at our blog every day, from where, what browsers you use, everything. We don't know exactly who you are, obviously, but we know you are out there. We know you are reading these posts.

SO WHY DON'T YOU EVER REPLY TO OUR QUESTIONS???

Out of all our published posts, we have a total of five comments. Five!! That's pathetic. We are working our butts off to get these posts out for you and be all witty and whatnot, the least you can do is help us out! I'm not saying you have to be stalker-ish and comment on every single thing we post, but a comment here and there is always helpful! We want to be your socially awkward internet friends!

So please. If there is anything you want to hear us rant about, or talk about, or share our opinions on, LET US KNOW!! We really do want your feedback.

Oh boy, now I sound like I'm begging for it... Just answer some god damn questions once in a while.

Weird Words Wednesday!

So I don't know about you, but there are certain words that I do not like. Just because of how they sound. Not what they mean. Just how they sound.

And one of those words is squat.

I mean, just look at it! it's all like skwaawwt. That's how you say it. Phonetically. Or you could say it like skwaaat. Which is worse and you should never ever do it. Ever.

Just say it. I don't care where you are, who's with you, just do it. Squat. Feel what your mouth does. Be very aware of it. It's like you're ribbeting, doesn't it? That's the sound a frog makes. If you think about it, imagine some squatting. Now use the word squat as the sound effect for the action. Doesn't that just make it seem gross?

Besides. Nobody likes to do squats. You just look silly.

HEY GUIZE!

So I have some very exciting news for you if you didn't already know. Tomorrow I am leaving for Bali! I'll be gone 10 days and I come back on the 26th. It's for class and I'm very excited because I'm pretty much part of 1% of my class that actually gets to go.

So what does this have to do with the blog? Not very much. I plan to have posts pre-written so that it'll still be updated. If you've noticed the last little while probably has had more posts than normal and it will stay that way until I get back. That's because there's an actual schedule now and as soon as I get back, it'll probably go back to posts being written the day of.

Anyways, I'll try to post some pictures and let you guys know about it when I get back.

I'd love to hear from you when I get back :)

Valentine's Day

So I'm sure by this point that you'd probably expect some big rant from me on Valentine's day, but unfortunately that's not what you're going to get. Sorry if that disappoints you, but that's just the way it goes.

Personally, I don't get the big deal, from either perspective.

You always have these people who are in a relationship and they're looking forward to it because for some reason they need a special day to tell their significant other that they love them. Why can't you do that every day? Why do you need a reason to buy your lady flowers, or to draw your man a cute picture inside a card or letter? If you really love them, shouldn't you be able to do that any day?

I find it kind of sad how big a deal this day is. I mean, when you were little, it was just fun to make those little mailboxes out of paper bags and hang them on your desk to get free candy and funny notes from the people in your class. But now that I'm older, that's not gonna happen! I'm not gonna get 30 valentines and a shit ton of free candy! Maybe some candy from teachers but that doesn't really count. But you know what? I can deal with that.

What I can't deal with is listening to people who are single complain about how lonely they are on Valentines day. Umm.... I'm pretty sure that if you're lonely on Valentine's day, you're lonely every other day too, so why are you complaining about it now? It's not going to change anything. If you want your perfect fairy-tale Valentine's day, then go get it! You march right up to your crush, kiss the shit out of them, and tell them how you feel! Too scared to do that? Well then stop complaining, because I don't want to hear it.

You don't need to be in a relationship with someone to be happy, do you? I hope not, because I think that people are way better than that. Don't get me wrong, relationships can be great, but you shouldn't have to rely on that to be happy. There has to be something in your life that makes you happy other than one particular person. Like... don't you have some hobbies or something? Or some friends? Even if you don't have either of these things in your life, which I know you do, you can't get all depressed because it's Valentine's day.

Really. Why is it different from any other day? Those of you who are planning to be upset, using the reason "I'm going to be seeing so many happy couples, and it will remind me of how alone I am" is not going to fly with me. Chances are, you see those same happy couples every day and don't give it a second thought. Why start now? Just keep on walkin' because I know you are better than making yourself sad thinking about the fact that you aren't in a relationship.

All of this being said, I do hope that everyone has a great Valentine's day. But only because I really hope that you all have a great day every day. If you can come up with a decent reason as to why you're upset on Valentine's day (it must pertain to love, other factors don't count!), feel free to leave it in the comments below!

Moustache Monday!

Want to make your own moustache? Not satisfied with last weeks materials? Well here's all you need to give yourself or whatever you like a very convincing moustache:

 

Need proof?

 

Bam! Don't I look foine with this moustache? Looks like I grew it over night!

But your own face isn't the only thing you can make snazzy with this beautiful 'stache! Here are a few more examples!

 

Damn computer, if you weren't already my boyfriend, I'd be hitting on your all night long.

 

This faceless mask really needed some snazzing up. Now it's all fixed! 

 

Well this tourist monkey now would fit in at any Gentleman's Cigar Club. I really want to go to one of those. I don't even really know what it is. I just know it's where I want to be. 

 

This was made to have a moustache!

Look how happy this tissue box is to have a moustache! It's grinning from ear to ear!

Send us some pictures of things you like to put moustaches on! C'mon. You know you want to. If you need any information about how to contact us, leave us a message in the comments and we'll come up with a solution, lickety-split. Yeah. I said that. Deal with it.

Fun Food Friday: Bad First Date Foods

So one of my friends and I have this ongoing conversation about foods that would not be ideal to order while on a first date. They are numerous, let me tell you, but I'll just cover a few here tonight.

1.) Salad. Ladies, you may think that ordering a salad is all high-class and is going to make it seem like you actually care about what you eat, maybe even like you are one of those super healthy sticks who can eat something like a salad and be satisfied, but you are wrong. You're going to end up with greens that are too big to put in your mouth, so you're going to have to either be a freak and cut your salad or you're going to have to try and shove in a giant leaf while keeping up the conversation and not smearing dressing all over your face. And if, by some miracle, the greens aren't too big, they'll probably get stuck in your teeth. Then what? You'll be picking at your teeth (not attractive) or you'll just carry on and not notice, and then he is not going to want to kiss you, much less go on another date! Just stay away from salads.

2.) Soup, any kind. This goes back to my rant about loud eating. I don't care who you are, but even the most god damn attractive person on the planet will not seem attractive while they are inhaling their soup making those god-awful noises. And chances are, you are not the number one most attractive person on the planet (no offense, just statistically speaking) so if they can't pull it off, neither can you.

3.) Chinese food. Now, I'm a huge fan of Chinese food. I love me some sweet and sour chicken, but do you know how awkward that is to eat, especially on a first date when you're hyper-aware of every little thing you do? There's the version of sweet and sour chicken that comes with the sauce already on, which again poses the problem of getting sauce all over your face, or there's the version that I usually end up with that's chicken balls with sauce on the side. This is almost worse. It seems weird to me to cut up this particular food item, so I usually attempt to just down it in one bite. Seems like a bad idea, but I never seem to learn. It usually results in me having my mouth packed with chicken and not being able to speak for fear of spitting chicken everywhere. Now, imagine if I did that on a first date. I think that would tell the poor guy everything he needed to know, and I would not get asked out again.

These are just a few of the foods I would suggest staying away from. However, if you have no choice but to indulge in one of these options, feel free to take some advice from me:

• Napkins are your best friend. They make sure that your face is clean, and they can also help hide the fact that you may have taken a bite that was slightly too large. I use napkins all the time, trust me, they help
• Ladies, carry some floss in your purse. I know, it seems extremely strange, and I would probably talk about someone who was flossing in the bathroom, but think about it. If you have spinach in your teeth and you can't quite get it out with your fingernail, you could be in the bathroom for ages, and that doesn't send a great message to your date either. A couple quick swipes with your floss and you'll be good as new, I promise
• Just cut up your food. It's weird, but it's probably better than having it all over your face. Also there is less of a choking hazard if your bites are smaller. I know this one from experience..
• Make sure there is a lot of conversation. If you have your date focused on conversation, there is less chance that they will be paying attention to how you're eating. 
• The bathroom is always a good last resort. Make sure you go in before you leave to make sure that you have nothing in your teeth or on your face. 

And if you don't think any of that will work, then maybe you should just go to the movies or something instead. It's a lot safer, food wise. 

The Greatest Menace.

Okay, there is something I need to say.

Baby animals (how did I manage to pronounce it aminals in my head?) are a menace!

How could something so adorable and unthreatening be a menace, you ask? THAT'S EXACTLY IT!

So you're sitting at your computer scrolling through whatever site that pleases you and your face is kinda like this: : :| but then you come across a photo of a baby animal and all of a sudden you're like: =} ^_^ :3 *flail and spasm to the floor* 

That's not normal. Things should not affect your mood to that extent. It is not cool in any way.

Like how am I supposed to be angst ridden and hate the world when I suddenly start squealing and making those weird faces where your mouth and your eyes like try to squish into the middle of your face because I saw a picture of a kitten just sit there looking adorable? I can't! That's the issue!

To prove my point, I just saw a picture of a puppy and started to hyperventilate.

Like if I was being mugged and then all of a sudden the mugger help up like a baby monkey, I'd be like "HAVE ALL THE MONEY!" and then squeal and play with the monkey until it threw fecal matter at me.

So you can see that baby animals pretty much are the most dangerous weapon we have. But maybe it could be used for good.

What if every time there was an international dispute, they just shoved baby animals in the faces of those who might declare war? They'd all go, "D'aawwwwww" and roll around the floor like a cat with cat nip. Problem solved. World peace achieved.

I just solved all the world's problems.

Inanimate Objects

Alright, so we've started going back to our original post to take a closer look at the kinds of things that make us socially awkward. One of the first things mentioned was shouting at inanimate objects. But that's not the extent of it. There tends to be a slightly unhealthy attachment to them too.

For example, just this afternoon I was practicing cello, and as I tipped it sideways on my lap to push in the end pin, the scroll (that fancy curl at the top where those pegs go in) just brushed the wall. I immediately started apologizing and saying I didn't mean it. In reality, the cello feels nothing at all, and doesn't have any way of feeling upset at the fact that I had done this. But in my mind, I had just hurt my cello, and that is NOT ok!

I think it stems from having stuffed animals or dolls or action figures as a child. I mean, I know I considered some of my stuffed animals to be my best friends (yes, I just admitted that). I slept with a Winnie the Pooh bear way past the age that would be considered acceptable, and there are still some stuffed animals that I'll pull out to cuddle with or cry into if I've had a particularly tough day. I am just attached.

But that only explains sympathy to my cello to an extent. It doesn't explain why I feel bad just crushing bottles or soda cans without a thought. It doesn't explain why I encourage my shampoo to just give me a little more, because "I know you can do it!" or why I try to comfort my phone after I drop it, saying stuff like "Shhh! It's ok, you're ok. I put your back on again, and you're going to be just fine!"

Do I get strange looks when I "Aww!" at someone's car or even a small tree or something? Of course. But hey, that's part of what makes me socially awkward, now isn't it.

Friendly Conversations

I don't know about you, but when I get together with my friends, the weirdest things end up getting said. I don't know what it is, but a conversation with a friend always ends up crossing lines than with conversations with acquaintances, family or total strangers. Maybe it's because you're way more comfortable with friends, and they're gonna make fun of you for something, might as well be for something rather stupid you said.

I can't help it. When I'm with friends our conversation end up, typically on a whole new spectrum of weird. I'm sure I'd be committed or something for the kind of conversations I have. I'm fairly certain I'd be frowned upon in many public situations if we were ever overheard.

Whether it be about people you find attractive, music, movies or just things that happen in our day, my friends and I always seem to manage to take it to the extreme.

For example, how did my friend and I manage to get from the wriggling disembodied tail of a lizard to Japanese tentacle porn? It remains a mystery to me.

Another example, my friend and I managed to describe how a good singing voice makes us feel. It went something along the lines of, "I just want to wrap your voice around my naked body."

Yes, it gets weirdly and uncomfortably sexual. Yes, improbable and probably impossible things get said.

Here's a conversation between me and Becca, the co-writer of this blog:

M: Okay, so I'm not doing the impossible. Cool.
B: Cooler if you could do the impossible, but not being crazy is better. I mean bad crazy of course. Cause gurl, you all kinds of good crazy.
M: Awww yeaah! It would be awesome to do the impossible. But then the universe would probably eat me cause it doesn't like that shit.
B: Probably. Then I'd be sad.
M: I'm be pretty sad too. Although I bet the stomach of the universe would be pretty cool.
B: Yeah, there would be some neat stuff in there
M: Maybe I'd meet like aliens and stuff. And people and things that randomly disappear. Like that one sock of a pair. Always vanishes like it doesn't want you to have matching socks.
B: I hate it when that happens. I'd try to rescue you and you could be a hero and bring everyone's missing socks back once we were done exploring.
M: It would be the greatest adventure ever!

Yes. These things are said. We do contemplate what we'd find in the bowels of the universe if we were ever consumed by it in anger.

It can get weirder. Usually there are weird sound effects, flailing of body parts and the bursting out into song and dance to accompany it. I can't truly encompass how awesome and hilarious our conversations get in one blog. Maybe one day I will be able to.

So what are some weird conversations that you guys have with your friends? Do they get stranger than this? If so share below! Cause honestly, that's the best entertainment there is.

MOUSTACHE MONDAY

So there's a lot of intrigue in moustaches right now. Every girl wants one but they can't grow them (goddamn estrogen). So what is a girl to do? Make her own, of course! 

So what are the many ways to make a moustache? Well I'll show you the ways that I have made mine: 

There's tape. Tape is your friend. You can make all kinds of moustaches with tape. And as you can see above, you can also add a beard! (Please note: When you're walking around a tourist attraction to get to the bathroom, it can cause for some very strange looks)

Hats. Lots of winter hats have these wonderful strings you are supposed to use to tie under your chin. Well that's the wrong way to use them. Go ahead, make a moustache for yourself. 

Pipe cleaner can do the trick too! This one here looks more like whiskers, but I assure you, my intent was to have the best moustache in town. 

Don't have a lot of materials? Just use your fingers! This is my famous Curly Q moustache. Okay, I didn't make it famous, but it is mine, and they are my hands, so I think that's fair. 

Got any other great ways to come up with moustaches? Let us know! If you have any pictures, be sure to send them to us :) More moustaches coming your way next week!

Things You Do When You're Alone

Alright, now before anyone gets any ideas, this isn't supposed to be some dirty post, so get your mind out of the gutter.

Have you composed yourself?

Good, then we can continue.

Now, if you're like me, and your parents tell you that they're going away for the weekend and you have the house to yourself, you get super excited. You may think, "Aw yaaaa I'm gonna have an awesome party with all my awesome friends and it's going to be so awesome!" but let's be serious, how many of us actually do that? Even if you plan to have people over you're not going to invite like 50 of them. Personally, I generally opt to stay completely alone. It's so much easier. Plus, I can get a jump start on my various solitary activities.

I know, you're all thinking, "Man, this chick is going to end up with like 12 cats and no friends," and you're probably right, but hear me out.

The number one thing I'm pretty sure we all do is crank our music. There's nobody around to complain about the volume or the lyrics, and you can sing along and say all the swear words without feeling awkward. Plus you can dance like an idiot and not be judged, which is excellent if you dance anything like I do.

Second on my list tends to be watching a lot of Netflix. I don't know why this happens when I'm alone other than that there's nobody to walk in and interrupt whatever I've chosen to watch. Nobody is gonna burst in during a sex scene to tell me that I have to unload the dishwasher or something like that.

Third is obviously eating. I don't have to eat when everyone else is hungry, I can eat whenever and whatever I want. Sure, there tends to be a lot of cereal consumed, but that is by choice! Also, it means way less dishes to clean up than if I were to actually cook. Also I can't cook...

Going on nighttime adventures is fun. There's not much to do in a small town like mine, but just going out to look at stars is good enough sometimes.

Alright so my weekends alone aren't so exciting, and if you found this to be a little pathetic then maybe use me as an example of how not to spend your weekends alone.

What do you do to fill your time when you're alone? Leave some comments below :)

Birds are EVIL!

There is a major part of my life that we have managed to avoid up until this point. And that is fear. I'm scared of shit tons of things. It's probably a little unhealthy. I'm not really going to get into all of them right now, but there's quite a few. A major one though, that I feel I have to defend, is my fear of birds.

Yes, you heard me. Birds.

You must be thinking, what's wrong with birds brah? I made you sound like a douche because THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH BIRDS. WHY CAN'T ANY OF YOU SEE THIS PROBLEM?

Let's just start with a single bird. Just look at what a bird has in its arsenal:

Look at that motherfucking beak. It is curved and sharp. You know what curved and sharp beaks are good for? Eating out your goddamn eyes. No, not all birds have curved beaks, but a shit load of them have sharp beaks. So they can peck you to death.

Birds want to eat you.

Now look at these fuckers. These things are for killing. You know what has talons like that? Dinosaurs! Would you fuck with a dinosaur? No, cause it would fucking kill you. So why do people fuck with birds?

That's another thing. Birds come from goddamn dinosaurs. Don't get me wrong, I love dinosaurs, they're fucking awesome. However, would I be cool with dinosaurs flocking about all willy nilly? Just have 'em walking around downtown like they own the place? No, cause they'd eat me and use my bones as toothpicks.

Then there are the flocks. Have you seen bird flocks?

Look at this goddamn thing! Look at how many birds are just chilling in the sky! And this is just one flock. there are flocks everywhere.

Why do they need such huge flocks? I'll tell you why. These birds are goddamn conspiring. They want to take over the whole damn world and they're going to work together to do it. There is no way in hell that these birds are content with the skies. They want it all.

 Look at these fuckers! They're just attacking a plane! Why? Because they think they own it all. They think the sky is theirs and we're encroaching on their territory. Well you know what birds? We're gonna take the fucking sky! And you know what, that's all you're ever gonna have. Because I won't let you take over the world. Not on my watch.

Also. Pigeons. Have you looked at one? They're frigging evil. And they don't move when you come near them. They're like, "I'm not scared of you! You know why? I got my bretheren on my side. And we'll kill you all. It's just a matter of time."

 

Believe me now? 

Fun Food Fridays!

Alright, our third and final theme day (for now) is called Fun Food Fridays!

Since we, as math spare, are known for our eating, we thought it would be entirely appropriate to have a food-themed day. This means that we can talk about anything from recipes or cravings to food that makes you feel better when you're... under the weather... and food that just makes you happy. Food reviews, food ideas, food anything. If you guys have any suggestions let us know! Leave us some comments!

A Brief History

Alright kids, it's time to reveal our back story. If I were reading this blog, I would probably wonder where this name came from. Smart Kids Who Don't Like Math? What is that all about?

One year ago today, Mariah and I started our first day at Science School. Basically you go and you take 3 of 4 courses (you can choose from Chemistry, Biology, Physics, and math) and then you have a spare period. Amazingly, Mariah and I, along with 3 people who are now some of our closest friends, ended up with the same spare. Of course it was a little weird at first, considering we didn't know each other (Mariah and Danielle were friends before this program but they didn't know the rest of us) and we probably spent about 6 days actually using our spares for work until we gradually revealed how strange each of us is, and we became inseparable. We did everything together, and we lived in our own little world.

Here comes the important part. Ready? We had all of the Science courses, and we had math spare. All of us (except for our only male companion, Prince Ali) disliked math, but we're all pretty smart. Thus the name Smart Kids Who Don't Like Math.

And the socially awkward part? Well that is a little tougher to explain... For those of you that know us personally, you get it. The strange references and the noises and faces and just the general states of being. But for those of you who don't know us personally, go back to our first post and Mariah describes us pretty well here.

Anyway, now, a year later, we are still freakishly close, and Mariah and I talk all the time. We had been talking about doing something like this for a while, and then one day we stopped procrastinating and Mariah got us all set up.

So there you go. Nothing too exciting today, but at least you learned a little something about us. Enjoy your Thursday night everyone! Make sure to check back here again tomorrow when we reveal another one of our theme days!

Weird Words Wednesdays

Ever heard a word that just didn't sound right? That just sounds weird as it leaves your mouth? That just bothers you whenever you hear and/or say it?

Well, we're going to rant about them right here on our new theme day.

Because we like words. Except for ones that bother us, and you should all know about them.

If you have any words that bother you, leave them in the comments or something. Inform me or Becca in some fashion.

You should do it. Or I'll reevaluate our friendship.