My Montreal Trip in Strongly Worded Letters

Some of these are based on letters that I littered our hotel room with upon departure from our weekend stay in Montreal. And some of them I writing now.

Warning: May contain course language and mindless ranting. 
--------------------------

Dear Megabus,

Where is your WIFI? Bad things happened because we didn't have your WIFI.

Also, 6:30AM? Really? The subways had barely started running by the time we left!

Sincerely
Unhappy Passenger
--------------------------
Dear Rabeea

Brossards is not in Montreal. It is very far from Montreal. Like, we-can't-take-the-bus-there far. Like $30-cab-fare far.

You are not allowed to book hotel rooms ANYMORE.

Sincerely
Your Friend
--------------------------
Dear Econo Lodge Downtown Montreal

Brossards, although in the middle of nowhere, was better in many ways. The beds, not to mention the room, were bigger. The room came with a microwave and a coffee maker. The view was better and the atmosphere was better. All this for a cheaper price.

And although we are paying more for less, your front desk was not helpful or welcoming.

Sincerely
Your angry guests

Also, your furnishings were stupid.
--------------------------
Dear Montreal

Why are you so cold?

Other than that, don't ever change.

Sincerely
A Torontonian
--------------------------
Dear Econo Lodge

You continental breakfast sucks. What is continental about it? You didn't even have eggs. Or fruit. Or meat. Or plates. Or cutlery. Not real ones anyways

In sum, your breakfast sucks and you should buy our waffles.

Sincerely
Not impressed
--------------------------
Dear Waffle Place

You were awesome.

Marry me.

Sincerely
In love with waffles
 --------------------------
Dear ice

Ouch. Fuck you.

We conquered your frictionless surface.

So. Fuck you.


Sincerely
My knee hurts
--------------------------
Dear Hookah Lounge

You were the ONLY place to card us in Montreal. What's the deal? Also, do not be so blatant about asking for tip. If we give you tip, do not judge how much tip we give you. I overtipped you twice. So screw you.

We stole your menu so take that.

Sincerely
It was otherwise a good experience
--------------------------
Dear Econo Lodge... AGAIN

Fuck you. You locked us out at 2AM. You said it was "a joke." Not a good fucking joke. You just need to fix your fucking lock. You know from all the money you're saving NOT giving us coffee or a microwave.

AND you leave out Pizza Pizza ads that don't have a time limit on them. And then we can't eat pizza. Who says we can't order pizza to our room at 2AM. We're fucking hungry.

Sincerely
Your angry and slightly drunk guests.
--------------------------
Dear Sleep

I missed you last night. I'm sorry we had to go at 5:45AM again. And sorry we got into the hotel at 2AM. And sorry we fucked around until 5AM...

I'm sorry for taking you for granted

Love
Tired as fuck.